This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Empowerment - Seldom Think Of YouWhen we are young, we are taught to respect other people. We are taught to behave well and to mind our manners. We are taught to value what other people think and find validation in being approved of. This is something that continues our entire lives – and should! If everyone thinks you have bad manners, maybe it’s worth figuring out why. If people tell you that you might want to take a shower a little more often, that’s something worth exploring. If someone thinks that your behind is too big… well, that’s the rub, right? We want approval from people. It is a natural, human desire. We want to be accepted for who we are, for the good and the bad, for the talents and the insecurities. But there is a point at which we let the concerns of what other people think get in our way. We don’t go out because we’re having a bad hair day. We avoid an office party because we can’t buy a new dress. We wear a hat all the time because our hair is thinning. We all have that “thing” that we do. And we really shouldn’t. The truth is – as Eleanor Roosevelt so eloquently put it – “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

I have Vitiligo. It’s not something I’m entirely comfortable with and I’ve never mentioned it publicly before, so I’m stepping into the bravery zone here! I have Vitiligo and it’s something (among other things!) that I’m insecure about. (If you’re not familiar with Vitiligo, the NIH describes it as follows: “Vitiligo (vit-ill-EYE-go) is a disorder in which white patches of skin appear on different parts of the body. This happens because the cells that make pigment (color) in the skin are destroyed.”) I was diagnosed at 19, when I noticed a single white patch on my skin. I went to a dermatologist and while showing me a second patch (in an entirely different part of my body that I’d never noticed), he gave me the diagnosis. My Vitiligo has gotten progressively worse over the years and while I have absolutely no plans to become an underwear model, it makes me insecure.

In most cases, there are no physical repercussions to having Vitiligo. It doesn’t hurt, it isn’t contagious and they don’t know a ton about it because it isn’t life threatening or critical in any standard way. That said, it takes a HUGE emotional toll. What if you’re not pretty anymore? What if people don’t like you and think you look weird? What will I look like in 10 years? 20 years? 40 years? It’s not an easy one and really requires you to look deep within yourself to figure out who you are past the surface of your skin.

Alli Doubek Hand
I turned 40 earlier this year (Woot! 40!), so I’ve been dealing with this for 21 years. The first 10 years were really really hard. In the beginning, every time the sun came out, I would hide. I bought makeup to try to cover my spots (mainly on my hands, elbows and feet) and tried to stay away from new people as much as possible. If I had to be with people, I would hide my hands. I’m a pretty social person, so while I was protecting myself from my newfound issues, I was also keeping myself from being happy. But we all have our process and this was mine. No one really asked about my spots, so I thought they were being polite. I’m Caucasian, but I get a tan the second the sun shines through my window in the morning, so I was SURE everyone saw them. Didn’t they? It took me that first 10 years to come to the realization that no, they really didn’t.

Here’s the thing that we all have to realize – everyone is trying so hard to hide their own things that they don’t notice the little things that you are trying to hide. When I turned 30, I came to one of my favorite realizations – I am who I am and I like me. I am a total dork, I love the theatre, I love my family, I love playing the “What Broadway show is this TV actor from?” game, I love to quote music/tv/movies, I have a lot of quirks, but they all make me me. And I kinda really like me. So if other people are bothered by my skin, that’s kinda their problem. I want to like them. I want to have a relationship. I want to be part of this world and I don’t have time for skin-deep judgements. There is so much going on in this world that the last thing we need to be crazily focused on is the right shoes or the size of our nose. You are who you are, insecurities and all. And there is so much that makes you great, no one else is focused on your small stuff. They’re focused on their own small stuff. All of it seems really really big – I know – but in the grand scheme of things, it’s small stuff.

Everyone has their own issues. There’s a lot about myself that I’m not crazy in love with, but I accept most of it and the other things I’m working on. No one is perfect and you can’t expect that of yourself. Besides, what does that even mean? I promise you that your definition of perfection also has issues that you don’t want to deal with. The friend that you think has it all? They’re wishing they had some of what you do. It’s all about the perspective. Stop worrying about what other people think of the little things and own who you are. You are amazing in so many ways, you just have to see it.

Need a little more empowerment? Check out the full series here.

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Crocs: 20% Off Sitewide!

by Alli on August 24, 2016

This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Crocs DealsCrocs is having a sale right now where you can get 20% off sitewide! Use coupon code BACKTOSCHOOL at checkout to see your discount. Free shipping on orders of $24.99 or more. Think back to school shoes! Ends 8/25.

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New Ivory Soap Coupon Means Only $.21 Per Bar Or $.62 Body Wash At Walmart Or Dollar Tree!

August 24, 2016
Ivory Soap Coupons

There is a great new $.35 Ivory Body Wash or Bar Soap coupon available today! Walmart sells Ivory Bar Soap 3 ct for between $.97-$1.25 regular price, so here’s how to get a better deal: Ivory Bar Soap 3 pk $.97-$1.25 Use $.35 Ivory coupon Final Price: As low as $.62 ($.21 per bar) Many […]

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Digital Magazine Subscriptions Sale

August 24, 2016
Wired Magazine Coupon Codes

Discount Mags is running a Digital Magazine Subscriptions Sale and offering $5 off, plus 1 bonus issue on Tech and Science titles! Remember you can gift magazines to your friends or get these as a new subscription or renewal for yourself! Have something else in mind? Use coupon code COUPONINGFOR4 to get 20% off of almost anything […]

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Nice Deal On 10-Piece Cookware Set – Today Only!

August 24, 2016
Cookware Set

Today only you can get this Gotham Steel 10-Piece Kitchen Nonstick Frying Pan and Cookware Set for only $89.99 shipped, down from $199.99! Ultra Non-Stick: Everything Just slides right off the pan Gotham Steel weighs less than frying pans of comparable sizes! Complete Cooking and Kitchenware set (see description below for components) 100% Safe: PFOA, […]

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20% Off Burt’s Bees Products – Today Only!

August 24, 2016
Burt

Today only you can get 20% off Burt’s Bees Lipcare, Skincare and Bodycare! I’m seeing lipstick, acne care, facial wipes, lotions and more! Take a look around! Free shipping with Amazon Prime or with a $49 order. Any prices listed in this post are current as of the post time. Prices at Amazon can flip […]

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Wednesday Magazine Sale! (Esquire And Girls Life As Low As $4.95 Per Year!)

August 24, 2016
Girls Life Magazine Deals

Discount Mags has 2 great magazines on sale! Just enter coupon code COUPONINGFOR4 at checkout to get any of the following as a new subscription or renewal: Subscribe to Esquire Magazine for 4 years at $4.95 per year (88% off)! Subscribe to Girls Life Magazine for up to 1 year at $6.95 per year (66% off)! Offers expire Thursday 8/25/16 11:59 PM EST. Have […]

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Suzy Q Or Twinkies Snack Cakes Only $.49 At Target!

August 24, 2016
Suzy Q Snack Cakes

Right now you can get Suzy Q Snack Cakes or Red White & Blue Twinkies for $.49 at Target when you combine the 50% off Cartwheel offer with the $1 Hostess coupon from the 6/12 SmartSource insert through 8/27! Here’s how: Buy Suzy Q Snack Cakes or Red White & Blue Twinkies $2.99 Use 50% […]

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Maybelline New York Eye Shadow As Low As $.24 At CVS!

August 24, 2016
Maybelline Eyeshadow Singles Coupons

CVS is offering $5 Extra Care Bucks for purchasing two Maybelline Cosmetics right now! Combine with coupons to get Maybelline New York Expertwear Single Eye Shadows for $.99 each through 8/27! Here’s how: Buy 2 Maybelline New York Expertwear Single Eye Shadows $4.49 each ($8.98) Use 2 $1 Maybelline New York Eye Shadow coupons Pay […]

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Luden’s Throat Drops Only $.69 At Target!

August 24, 2016
Luden

You can get 25-count bags of Luden’s Throat Drops for $.69 each at Target after the 20% off Cartwheel offer and $1/2 coupon through 9/18! Here’s how: Buy 2 Luden’s Throat Drops 25 ct $1.49 each ($2.98) Use 20% Off Luden’s Throat Drops Target Cartwheel coupon (deducts $.60) Use $1/2 Luden’s Throat Drops coupon (must […]

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Schick Disposable Razors Only $2.55 Per Pack At Walgreens!

August 24, 2016
Schick Xtreme 3 Razor Coupons

Walgreens has Schick Disposable Razors on sale buy one get one 50% off right now, plus you’ll score 5,000 Balance Reward Points for purchasing $20 worth! Combine with coupons and Everyday Points to get packs for $2.55 each through 8/27! Here’s how: Buy 4 Schick Xtreme 4 ct or Slim Twin 12 ct B1G1 50% […]

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The Laughing Cow Cheese Dippers Only $.99 At Target!

August 24, 2016
The Laughing Cow Cheese Dippers

You can get The Laughing Cow Cheese Dippers for just $.99 after the 50% off Cartwheel offer and $1 printable at Target through 8/27! Here’s how: Buy The Laughing Cow Cheese Dippers $3.99 Use 50% Off The Laughing Cow Cheese Dippers Target Cartwheel coupon (deducts $2) Use $1 The Laughing Cow Cheese Dippers coupon Final Price: $.99 […]

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8 Frugal Baking Shortcuts You Need To Know

August 23, 2016
8-Frugal-Baking-Shortcuts-You-Need-To-Know

Baking can be a fun way to express your creativity, relieve stress, or just have fun, but it can also be an expensive hobby. There are a lot of shortcuts and workarounds that will allow you to continue baking while not breaking the budget though! Here are some tips to help you cut back on […]

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6PM: Free Shipping On ANY Order Plus Deals (Converse, Tommy Hilfiger & More!) – Today Only!

August 23, 2016
Converse Deals

6PM is offering free shipping on ALL orders through 8/29 ONLY with no coupon code needed! They have a bunch of deals going on  (including up to 50% off Converse, up to 60% off U.S. POLO ASSN., Tommy Hilfiger, Lacoste and more!), so take a look around!

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