This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

empowerment-silenceI have always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants girl of my own mind. I hear other people and I listen to other people, but if I think that I know what’s right, I’m going to do it my way. I have been that way since I was a little one and I appreciate very much that my parents allowed me to live through my childhood because now my daughter is the same way. Thanks mom and dad – I am not easy and neither is she! That said, my daughter is an amazing human that is going to do great things when she’s older. She’s just going to drive me a little crazy now, as I drove my parents down the exact same path. We have a lot to say and we are both so excited about everything that excites us that it all funnels out into conversation. I love that she is so passionate about life and I love that the passion overtakes her. That said, what we are both learning (although I’m a little further in the process at 40 years old vs. her 8 years) is that silence is a source of great strength.

It is always easy to create a commentary on something you feel passionate about. You let your mind be known and fight hard through a conversation – whether you agree with the other person or not. But what if you didn’t? What if you stopped talking and really listened? Heard what the other person was saying – whether you agree or not – and responded when they were done, having fully heard what they said? Think about how that would impact the conversation. You wouldn’t lose anything and, at the same time, you would be making your conversation partner feel heard and respected.

When my husband and I first started dating, we’d already been friends for ten years. We met the first day of freshman year of high-school, dated for two months, broke up, and remained friends for the next ten years. When we each came back to Chicago from college, I asked him to go see a play with me. Neither of us knows how we made that work since we each had jobs that conflicted with when we’d have to be at dinner before the play, but we both changed our schedules and showed up. This was my friend, but we both knew that what we had felt upon that initial high-school meeting was still there, it had just been put off while we grew up. We went to this dinner and while I floundered around trying to figure out the words to broach the topic, he sat their smiling at me and waiting. When I finally (and sheepishly) looked up at him, the only words he said were a smiling, “Go on.”

And so our relationship went. We dated for a few months and I knew that this was right. At one point I mustered up the courage to tell him that I loved him. He hugged me and kissed me, but didn’t respond in kind. Which was devastating. Did he not love me? We’d loved each other as friends for over ten YEARS – you either know or you don’t, right?? It was rough. Another two months went on like that with me telling him that I loved him and him hugging and kissing me. Finally one day we were walking on the beach and he turned to me and told me he loved me. He said that he had known for awhile, but that when he said something, he had to know it was true. That was a huge lesson for me and something that I love most about my husband to this day. If he has nothing to say, he is silent. He thinks his words through before he says them and if he says them, you know that you can believe every single one. There is no doubt, there is no hesitation. It is his truth.

Another powerful lesson came to me through my friend Jamie Lieberman at a conference a few years ago. She was giving a session on Mastering the Art of Negotiation in business (along with her partner and superstar Danielle Liss) and she began discussing how silence is an incredibly powerful position to take. Most people are naturally uncomfortable with silence, so they try to fill the gaps as needed. If you are in negotiations with someone (for a babysitting position, during an interview as CEO, at a bank or wherever), maintain your silence and listen as long as you can. If you are not hearing what you want to hear (or all that you want to hear), continue to hold the silence or ask a question to encourage the other person to keep talking. They often feel so unsettled that they naturally take the conversation further than they meant to. It is the strongest position you can take (and completely benign), so use it when you can! Thanks to Jamie for that insight that I have found so very powerful, both in business and in life.

I have always been a pretty good listener, but I do like to talk. I think many of us do! It is part of who you are – and being who you are is the ultimate position of power. Being true to yourself. That said, if you can try to hear people – really hear what they’re saying – you will find yourself strengthened. I am a much different woman than I was fourteen years ago, mostly due to the example of my husband. When I speak, I want to mean every word. When you speak, I really want to know what you’re saying. Not what words you are using, but what you are trying to convey. You’re excited, happy, scared, sad – all of this comes through if you’re really listening. So try out some silence if you can. You’ll find a power in it that you never knew existed.

Need a little more empowerment? Check out the full series here.

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Take It One Day At A Time With This T-Shirt!

by Alli on September 28, 2016

This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

cents-of-style-dealsTaking it one day at a time is sometimes the easiest way to get through life. Depending on what stresses you face, looking at a smaller picture is sometimes the easiest way to enjoy every moment. You can read about how I take things one day at a time in my empowerment article from a few weeks ago. That said, sometimes you need a reminder!

Cents of Style is currently offering their One Day At A Time T-Shirt for only $15.95 shipped when you use coupon code ONEDAY16 at checkout! This runs through 10/5, so there’s plenty of time to grab this excellent reminder!

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Rare $1 Jennie-O Deli Turkey Breast Coupon!

September 28, 2016
Jennie-O Coupons

There is a great new $1 Jennie-O Turkey Breast coupon available today! This is good on any 1 lb of deli service meat, so grab yours now and pick up some meat for lunches!

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Nip/Tuck: The Complete Series Only $45.99 – Today Only!

September 28, 2016
Nip/Tuck Deals

Today only you can get Nip/Tuck: The Complete Series for only $45.99! Free shipping with Amazon Prime or with a $49 order. Any prices listed in this post are current as of the post time. Prices at Amazon can flip fast, so don’t wait too long if you’re interested! When you’re done here, be sure […]

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30% Off FoodSaver Sealing System With Bonus Handheld Sealer And Starter Kit – Today Only!

September 28, 2016
FoodSaver Deals

Today only you can get 30% off the FoodSaver FM2435-ECR Vacuum Sealing System with Bonus Handheld Sealer and Starter Kit with free shipping! I love my FoodSaver! Stainless Steel body Integrated seal and vacuum chamber reduces bag waste Extra Wide Sealing Strip for the Strongest Seal Convenient Roll-Storage and Cutter 5 year warranty Any prices […]

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Wednesday Magazine Sale! (Conde Nast Traveler And Redbook As Low As $4.95 Per Year!)

September 28, 2016
Conde Nast Traveler Magazine Deals

Discount Mags has 2 great magazines on sale! Just enter coupon code COUPONINGFOR4 at checkout to get any of the following as a new subscription or renewal: Subscribe to Conde Nast Traveler Magazine for up to 3 years at $4.99 per year (89% off)! Subscribe to Redbook Magazine for up to 4 years at $4.95 per year (86% off)! Offers expire Thursday 9/29/16 11:59 […]

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Annie’s Mac & Cheese Only $.99 At CVS!

September 28, 2016
Annie

CVS has Mac & Cheese boxes and cups on sale buy one get one 50% off right now! Combine sale with coupon to get the below deals through 10/1 at CVS! Here’s how: Buy 2 Annie’s Mac & Cheese Cups B1G1 50% Off $1.99 ($2.98) Use 2 $.50 Annie’s Mac & Cheese coupons Final Price: […]

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Clear Eyes Pure Relief Only $1.99 At Target!

September 28, 2016
clear-eye-pure-relief

Target is offering a free $5 Target gift card with the purchase of one Clear Eyes Pure Relief Eye Care item right now! Combine gift card offer with the $3 Clear Eyes coupon to score eye drops for $1.99 through 10/8! Here’s how: Buy Clear Eyes Pure Relief $9.99 Use $3 Clear Eyes Pure Relief […]

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Tazo Tea Only $.47 Per Box At Walgreens!

September 28, 2016
Tazo Tea Coupons

Walgreens has Tazo Filterbag Teas on sale 2/$5 right now! Combine with coupon, Everyday Points, and $5 Starbucks eGift Card offer to get boxes for $.47 each through 10/1! Here’s how: Buy 3 Tazo Tea 20 pk 2/$5 Use $1 Tazo Filterbag Tea coupon (Limit 1) Pay $6.50, Get 70 Everyday Points and $5 Starbucks […]

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Snuggle Dryer Sheets And Fabric Softener Only $2.15 Each At CVS!

September 28, 2016
Snuggle Coupons

CVS has Snuggle Dryer Sheets and Fabric Softener on sale buy one get one right now! Combine sale with coupons to score 32 fabric softener or 80 ct dryer sheets for $2.15 at CVS through 10/1! Here’s how: Buy 2 Snuggle 32 oz B1G1 $5.29 ($7.93) Use 2 $.50 Snuggle coupon Final Price: 2/$4.30 ($2.15 […]

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Chobani Kids Yogurt Tubes Only $.22 Each At Target With New Coupon!

September 28, 2016
chobani-kids-yogurt-tubes

Print this new high-value $1 Chobani Kids coupon and use it in combination with the $2.96 sale and 5% Cartwheel offer to score 8-count boxes of Chobani Kids Yogurt Tubes for $1.81 at Target through 10/1! Here’s how: Buy Chobani Kids Yogurt Tubes 8 ct $2.96 Use 5% Off Chobani Kids Tubes 8 & 16 ct […]

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15 Fun Kid Snacks And Treats For Halloween Season

September 27, 2016
15-fun-kid-snacks-and-treats-for-halloween-season

By October, the kids are settled back in school and you’re settled back into your routine. Prevent that routine from turning into a rut by having some fun with fall food! Check out these fifteen fun kid snacks & treats for the Halloween season, and after reading these, I’d love to hear about your own […]

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Huge Amazon Toy, Gifts And Deals List!

September 27, 2016
Amazon Toy Deals

I know you don’t want to think about it, but the holidays aren’t that far away! Here is a huge roundup of gifts and toys that you may want to pick up! NOTE – ALL PRICES LISTED WERE VALID AS OF THE TIME OF THIS POST GOING LIVE. Prices change quickly, so don’t wait to […]

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20% Off Fresh Loose Corn Coupon!

September 27, 2016
Free Corn Coupons

There is a new save 20% on any single purchase of fresh loose Corn available today! This is good at any SavingStar participating store (including Walmart, Target and elsewhere!) Expires 8/8.

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